Me and My Kimono

One of these things is not like the other....

Yup, that's me and I am definitely not Japanese.  I really thought after the dress, wig, and makeup that maybe I would be able to blend in a bit better.  Nope, not at all!  You should have seen the amount of eyeliner that was put on the other girls to try to make their eyes bigger.  They barely put any on me and my eyes still look huge.  Oh well, I guess there's no hope of fitting in.

Okay, here's the story.  There is a kimono parade in Tochigi to commemorate the artist, Utamaro Kitagawa, who had a connection with the city.  He is well known for his works of bijinga, a term for pictures of beautiful women in art.  These women were always depicted in the traditional kimono dress.  Drew's boss happened to be friends with some of the people involved in planning the parade and was asked if their English speaking employee would participate.  Since Drew is not a "beautiful woman", the task was handed down to me.  How could I pass this up?!  Apparently, I just made the cut because 160 cm is the maximum height you can be and that is exactly how tall I am.  Imagine that, I was almost too tall!

Unfortunately, Drew had to work that day and was not able to witness this spectacle so I was sent off with Drew's boss's wife.  I would later be handed off to their daughter, Anna, that afternoon, leaving me with a two hour window without a translator.  I'll admit that I was a little anxious about the whole event.  It's one thing to go to the grocery store without being able to communicate, but it's another thing to try to be in a coordinated show when I won't be able to understand commands.

We arrived in Tochigi around 9:00 am and it was time for makeup.  First I was given a bald head, then a nice white face.  We were instructed not to put on any makeup or lotion before arrival, which I completely obeyed.  For some reason the makeup lady did not believe me.  She asked, through my translator, if I had anything on my face.  I responded with no and she proceeded to ask me to wash my face again anyways.  For my own sake, I've decided to believe that meant I looked so great that she really thought I had makeup on.  Otherwise, it might just mean I looked greasy...

Next up was my kimono dressing.  I might as well have been wearing a corset!  As they were first wrapping me up in towels, the little, energetic lady in charge of the whole operation kept making exclamations and hand gestures towards me.  The kind that would indicate someone is shapely.  I wasn't sure I was understanding.  Is this lady trying to say that I am voluptuous?  Really, me??  Turns out that is exactly what she had been saying.  I was later told that the lady was going on about how she was having to strap me down because my chest was too large.  Ha!  Now that is a first!  So not only was I almost too tall to participate, but I am also too curvy.  I think I might like this place.

A light lunch, due to the lack of room for stomach growth, was next on my agenda.  During lunch I discovered that the girl walking behind me in the parade, Saeko, could speak a decent amount of English.  Thank goodness!  The time that I was going to be without a translator was when they were going to explain what we all needed to do in the parade.  Saeko really saved me.  

After lunch we got our lipstick and wigs.  The wig was insanely heavy!

Even my hands are painted white.

At this point I have been left on my own with my two new friends.  Our part in the parade was briefly explained and we were shuttled into a van a little before 2:00 pm.  There is no proof of the first parade because Anna was still in school and not there to document.  I smuggled my camera down in the large orange thing attached to the front of my body but I had no way to use it while being watched.  As we got out of the van we were bombarded by a slew of cameras.  It felt like we were celebrities.  Note to self, never become famous.  There were only about a dozen people in the parade so I could not blend in as I hoped.  Being the center of attention has never been something I've enjoyed. As I walked past the crowds staring at me, I wondered how in the world did I end up here, in Japan, wearing a kimono, in a full historical get up, making my way down the street, trying not to trip in my crazy tall shoes.  This is not something I ever would have guessed I'd be doing in a million years.

I hardly ever wear heels, much less these puppies

You'll be glad to know that I did not trip.  The main character in the parade had shoes about three times that high, which caused the parade to move very slowly.  Half of the first parade was spent in a boat that was rowed back and forth while music played and people on each side of the river took millions of pictures of us.  I started to get extremely hot.  It was a cool, sunny day but the ten layers of my kimono were stifling.  Then my head got heavier and heavier with that five pound wig.  My neck felt like it was about to break off.  I thought about bailing out one side of the boat but I didn't want to leave Saeko, who was getting hungry, alone with the torture.  During the boat trip we even were announced by name.  I, of course, was Breanna from America.  How exotic!  They had to nudge me to make sure I waved at the crowd.  

We eventually escaped the first parade and were put in a tiny store off the street for a quick rest before the second parade.  People were still trying to get pictures and videos of us through the window.  Overwhelming!  This is when Anna showed up and I handed off my camera.  The second parade began around 4:00 pm, which is where the picture at the top of this post was taken.  This one was much shorter than the first but we had to pose for quite a few pictures beforehand.  Here is the whole team.

Check out her shoes!

And we're off...

The best part is when I could hear in the crowd people refer to me as "The American", or whisper "foreigner" while snapping a picture.  One of the ladies involved in the parade said to me, "you're very popular!"  I guess I have to use my exoticism to my advantage.

It was finally over around 5:00 pm and we walked back to the hotel to return to normal.  Taking it all off was one of the best feelings in the world.  Get out of here wig!

We felt so free.

Your turn kimono.

I'm still fighting to get all of that white makeup off of me.  Did I mention that I had to give permission for my picture to be used on the front of the festival's flier for next year?  Yup, these pictures will be around for awhile.  There's even a video...